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Young wizards and witches, welcome to our first lesson in Logic Spells. In this lesson, I will teach you a spell to defend yourselves against personal attacks. There are people who argue not by attacking the argument but by attacking the person. They resort to name-calling, insulting people, and bringing up personal circumstances and associations that have nothing to do with the argument. Although they should really be pitied more than opposed, you must exercise caution when you encounter them; they won’t hesitate to cause harm when cornered.

There are three kinds of creatures who use this argument.

  1. The Rock – this creature thinks he can argue, but he really can’t. It’s not his fault; he’s just stupid. This creature will hurl pebbles of insults at you while maintaining a smug facial expression. This sorry little creature poses no threat if completely ignored.

  2. The sloth – this creature does not want to exert any effort in understanding your argument, so he will completely ignore it and start attacking you. He will dodge whatever you posit against his claim (because it’s too tedious for him to use his brain) and will savagely bite, nip and claw at you. This creature is moderately dangerous.

  3. The pretentious knight – this creature maybe the most dangerous of the three. The pretentious knight possesses a level of intelligence higher than the rock and the sloth. He knows how to make the argument personal. He might even try to convince you that he’s not attacking you, instead he’s trying to help you. Their self-righteousness knows no bounds. Do not let your guard down. Because this creature knows how to really hurt you, this creature can be very dangerous.

How do you banish a rock, sloth or pretentious knight? When any of these creatures start attacking you, point your wand and them and shout…